Christmas is a time of celebrations.
of Lights
of Shopping and wrapping
of Christmas carols
or Parties with family and friends.
As we prepare for these events with
shopping, decorations, wrapping and baking, many of us experience
sadness as well. It is what I call the bittersweet joy of Christmas
because as we gather with friends and family, we are painfully aware
of our loved ones who are no longer with us. The empty spaces in our
circle.
The other day I ran out to pick up some
coffee for my husband and a sweater for my daughter, I was reminded
of the many shopping trips that I had made with my Mother while we
were getting ready for the Christmas holidays. It was just a little
wave of sadness. I put the packages in the trunk of my car and
headed back toward the the interstate, unstoppable tears ran down my
cheeks. My friends already know that I almost never cry. I turned
up the radio, but it made no difference, the tears kept kept falling.
If someone else was writing this story,
it would end with my Christmas spirit being restored by an encouter
with an angelic baby, a Christmas choir or a beautiful sunset. None
of these things happened.
As I have done in the past, I continued
to make the preparations for Christmas. I do this with little
variation every year. I love Advent, the time of preparation that is
both physical and spiritual. Each day facing the challenges and
acknowledging the blessings.
Today is Christmas Eve and I had a
wonderful day with my family. We went to Mast General Store and then
had lunch at Long's Drugstore. We are so lucky to have a drugstore
with a soda fountain. A quick stop at Blue Ridge and then skating at
the Ice Chalet. I am truly blessed.
When I looked at Facebook, I saw that someone very dear had shared the excitement of her daughter opening
her new Kindle in a video. I know that four young teens are going to
have something under the tree this Christmas. I was touched by a
post from a Gold Star mother reaching out to the wife of a Wounded
Warrior. A longtime friend shared the good news that he has accomplished a lifetime dream, Leave No Paws Behind reached their emergency fundraising goal with $1,000 to spare, thanks to an anonymous Santa and I was surprised by especially thoughtful gestures by my daughter and my husband. I asked for help finding photos of churches in Greene
County and schools in Knox County and I have been blessed with many
contributions. I am blessed to have my family at home
for Christmas.
Tomorrow, we will gather to exchange
gifts, share stories and pictures. We will have a big dinner and eat
lots of dessert. We will miss those who are no longer with us and
cherish those are with us today.
